Good Support

I Finally did the full marathon on Sunday!!! Yippee!! I'm so excited -- I did what I set out to do which was run a marathon before I turned 50!

I had very good support --- I didn't get the best training in -- my own fault -- but did have hubby standing by to keep me going. He met me several times on the course with candy, food -- water --- plus there was good support on the course with water and gatorade. It was a slow race for me but I had a good time.

I hope to be a little faster next time with a bit more training.

More of the same

Well, things were getting better for a little while on the drinking front --- hubby never actually went one day without anything -- but was down to about two drinks a night instead of the customary 3-4. That WAS an improvement.

The last couple of weeks have gotten worse --- he has been going out to lunch on wednesdays more often and every one of them was a total drunk. And then he drives. It is not far -- but someone could get killed in just the first 100 yds. He would also lose his job with a car company --- which I'm sure he would hate.

Tonight I am going to try to bring this up and make some points --- see if he does any better. I'm not very hopeful at this point. In the meantime, my step-son has quit drinking -- and he had a serious problem also.

Toasted Again

And sleeping ---- thank goodness....................it's been a while since I've blogged in here --- guess it's time for an update

We vacationed recently for two weeks in Calif. --- it was wonderful --- and we rented road bikes for the two weeks so that I could train for an upcoming triathlon which I was teaming with a girlfriend. I had a great time riding --- and did well in the race after doing the hills in La Jolla. It was a good vacation -- relaxing.

The only drawback to all the bike training is that it left me with four weeks to get back to my running -- I want to sign up for a marathon -- oct. 12th. I have yet to do the 20 miler.

Back to the toasted, sleeping individual -- he had been doing much better === then big slip today -- lunch with the boys and practically comatose when I got home --- so I let him sleep it off. He will say that he was extra tired because of getting up for work the last couple of days (which I get up for also). I agree that it is a factor -- but when I call both cell and home and get no answer --- I assume he is totally out which he was.

I need get back to my writing --- back soon.

Confrontation

Well, I finally did it......went to an Al-Anon meeting and also told DH about going. Told him that I had a problem with his drinking so heavily every night. He does not think it is such a "big deal" and does not consider it a sign of "Alcoholism". He just says he has a problem with an addiction to Stoli! Whatever you call it is a problem for me.

Al-Anon I think will help me at least -- and I think the more I go and the more he sees the effects on me --- that maybe it will eventually change. We'll see. For now, I am going to "let the dust settle" and see how it goes.

He says he is happy with his life and with me --- and that I should be happy -- since I can do whatever I like, whenever I like --- which is somewhat true --- and that he supportive. He supportive of my running events, etc. but tries to control most things. He does not trust me -- which I caused --- because I was "involved" with another runner --- 6 yrs. ago. Now, if I am not home by the appointed hour --- or something takes longer than expected --- he gets very agitated. Some of that is the trust issue and sometimes it's because it interrupts "happy Hour".

Getting Along

Well we're getting along better if I just leave things along --- i.e. don't say anything about the fact that DH is getting drunk every night. The other night he actually slept in a chair on the patio until 4:00 a.m. --- I think it's embarassing that the neighbors would see him out there -- doesn't seem to really faze him. Oh well --- I'm too occupied these days with running and biking to worry that much about it. I'm also going to do more stuff with others which he will have to get used to.

10 Miles Adirondack Run

I Did it!!! Did a lot of hills and my time was really good (for me). The Adirondack 10 miler from Lake George Village to Bolton Landing. I was really psyched. I'm not sure what I'll do next.

I also attended my first Al-Anon meeting. It was cathartic --- I cried my eyes out. Now I have to figure out when it is and where I will finally tell hubby that we have a REAL problem that needs to be addressed. It is difficult -- I know that it will bring about a lot of hurt feelings and I'm not sure how much I want to face that....but I also know that I don't want to continue fighting every time he drinks (and I'm not).

In the meantime, I am getting into good physical shape -- and trying to encourage hubby to do the same.

Update

Things had been going along on a pretty even keel --- then we had a huge blow out this past Friday. It was a "boys" lunch out --- which is always detrimental --- I get on edge because I don't know what to expect mood-wise when I get home......it was contentious --- and he'd been 'perving' all afternoon. On Cam as well --- which he had said he didn't do up until this time. We fought heading out to see a play.....he slept thru it --- fought all the way home --- almost violently so --- with me speeding in the car -- and him saying he was going to get out! It was very ugly. I still feel bad about the way I behaved. Plus, I hurt him with the seat belt --- he took it off and me trying to force it on him. Not Good. The next day --- we just sort of stayed out of each others' way --- I went for a bike ride and some running. Sunday -- it was like we were totally different people --- we got along --- had the kids down for Niki's birthday and had a barbecue. Monday was good also......It's like we are schizophrenic.