Toasted Again

And sleeping ---- thank goodness....................it's been a while since I've blogged in here --- guess it's time for an update

We vacationed recently for two weeks in Calif. --- it was wonderful --- and we rented road bikes for the two weeks so that I could train for an upcoming triathlon which I was teaming with a girlfriend. I had a great time riding --- and did well in the race after doing the hills in La Jolla. It was a good vacation -- relaxing.

The only drawback to all the bike training is that it left me with four weeks to get back to my running -- I want to sign up for a marathon -- oct. 12th. I have yet to do the 20 miler.

Back to the toasted, sleeping individual -- he had been doing much better === then big slip today -- lunch with the boys and practically comatose when I got home --- so I let him sleep it off. He will say that he was extra tired because of getting up for work the last couple of days (which I get up for also). I agree that it is a factor -- but when I call both cell and home and get no answer --- I assume he is totally out which he was.

I need get back to my writing --- back soon.

Confrontation

Well, I finally did it......went to an Al-Anon meeting and also told DH about going. Told him that I had a problem with his drinking so heavily every night. He does not think it is such a "big deal" and does not consider it a sign of "Alcoholism". He just says he has a problem with an addiction to Stoli! Whatever you call it is a problem for me.

Al-Anon I think will help me at least -- and I think the more I go and the more he sees the effects on me --- that maybe it will eventually change. We'll see. For now, I am going to "let the dust settle" and see how it goes.

He says he is happy with his life and with me --- and that I should be happy -- since I can do whatever I like, whenever I like --- which is somewhat true --- and that he supportive. He supportive of my running events, etc. but tries to control most things. He does not trust me -- which I caused --- because I was "involved" with another runner --- 6 yrs. ago. Now, if I am not home by the appointed hour --- or something takes longer than expected --- he gets very agitated. Some of that is the trust issue and sometimes it's because it interrupts "happy Hour".

Getting Along

Well we're getting along better if I just leave things along --- i.e. don't say anything about the fact that DH is getting drunk every night. The other night he actually slept in a chair on the patio until 4:00 a.m. --- I think it's embarassing that the neighbors would see him out there -- doesn't seem to really faze him. Oh well --- I'm too occupied these days with running and biking to worry that much about it. I'm also going to do more stuff with others which he will have to get used to.

10 Miles Adirondack Run

I Did it!!! Did a lot of hills and my time was really good (for me). The Adirondack 10 miler from Lake George Village to Bolton Landing. I was really psyched. I'm not sure what I'll do next.

I also attended my first Al-Anon meeting. It was cathartic --- I cried my eyes out. Now I have to figure out when it is and where I will finally tell hubby that we have a REAL problem that needs to be addressed. It is difficult -- I know that it will bring about a lot of hurt feelings and I'm not sure how much I want to face that....but I also know that I don't want to continue fighting every time he drinks (and I'm not).

In the meantime, I am getting into good physical shape -- and trying to encourage hubby to do the same.

Update

Things had been going along on a pretty even keel --- then we had a huge blow out this past Friday. It was a "boys" lunch out --- which is always detrimental --- I get on edge because I don't know what to expect mood-wise when I get home......it was contentious --- and he'd been 'perving' all afternoon. On Cam as well --- which he had said he didn't do up until this time. We fought heading out to see a play.....he slept thru it --- fought all the way home --- almost violently so --- with me speeding in the car -- and him saying he was going to get out! It was very ugly. I still feel bad about the way I behaved. Plus, I hurt him with the seat belt --- he took it off and me trying to force it on him. Not Good. The next day --- we just sort of stayed out of each others' way --- I went for a bike ride and some running. Sunday -- it was like we were totally different people --- we got along --- had the kids down for Niki's birthday and had a barbecue. Monday was good also......It's like we are schizophrenic.

I DID IT

I ran my first Half-Marthon --- with a few walk breaks. It was the Lake Placid Marathon and Half Marathon --- hilly course and very warm temps. I'm not really good with the heat --- and not the best on the hills......I will do more hill-training in the future. I finished running which was totally awesome to me!!

Hubby said I looked really good for just having run 13.1 miles.....and I felt great! I probably could have pushed a bit more but was happy to do it.

Looking at a Full Marathon in the fall --- not sure which one yet. We'll see how my training schedule goes. I'm very psyched.

Days to go

Days to go until the Half Marathon --- can't wait. We have stopped fighting -- at least for now it seems. It looks like the weather will be perfect this weekend for a good run.

We did not make it up to the boat last weekend, and won't get there this weekend either. Last weekend we went to a Yankees game --- spur of the moment gift of tickets from our kids......who got them from a neighbor. It was loads of fun --- took Matty (8 yr old). He got a bat --- it was Bat Day at the game.

I am very Psyched for the run on Sunday and it looks like we will know a few people up there --- so it is very cool. Hubby is volunteering to work the race ---- gets to see me start then reports to the volunteer tent. Should be fun.